Sleigh bells ring........

In fact, not only will we hear the bells but we are apt to see Santa since we will fly back to Columbus tonight arriving at 11:30 pm! Key west has been lots of fun and very relaxing, but all has not been great!

The first few days were quite cool and I didn't wear shorts until the third day, we haven't--as usual--done many of the things we wanted to do, I still haven't figured out the best way to get pic's on this blog, and to make matters worse--there is something wrong with the "c" on this computer so it requires additional effort to get it to work! (...and I paid $300 for the damn thing!)

But the worst thing is that I now have a constant pain in my right lung area, I find it necessary to cough all the time especially when I take some deep breaths, and I feel a general deterioration of my condition!

Sad, sure! Up until a few weeks ago, I felt great and like I had beaten this thing. But when you start to have problems, it is easy to worry that the negative doctors are correct! But I ain't dead yet, nor am I about to give up! Some wouldn't record this kind of negativity, but the way I work, I need to document all and then DEFEAT IT!

The past few days the weather has been great and we have had lots of fun walking, talking, and jumping between the pool and hot tub. Today will be good also and tomorrow Christmas with Evelyn et al should be lots of fun. We have had a good trip and we will actually start another shorter one on the 26th.

To end this: I am surprised at how little one uses the "c"; I do plan to work harder on defeating this cancer--thanks to everybody for their help and prayers; and Merry Christmas to all and the all a great day.

What if a person.......

....didn't worry? I guess that would really be sweet. And I am certain (at least for myself) that we all have things to "worry"about.

I went skiing for one brief day last week in Pennsylvania and worried the whole time about how badly I skied! Oh well, interesting little place anyhow--cold and snowy. Fun to try it again each year although I probably won't be able to ski again until January.

Went to the Oncologist(s) on Monday and told them that for the first time I could feel my "deterioration". I have more pain in my side (right lung) and I cough a lot, especially when I breathe deeply. Well now, given the recent past I thought they would comment on how that would continue, but not so. They indicated how well I have done in almost 1 & 1/2 years--better than most. We will have a CTscan end of the month and another meeting with them 4 January.

So...I am left to take my supplements (from the integrative doc) with a renewed vigor and to worry about what is next! Now, everybody--including me--says, "don't worry, it won't do any good"! Other people have told me how they like the positive blogs (thanks). But some worry must come into every life and this seems to be one of my times.

I really don't know what to do, but I think some worrying may lead to more productive thinking and a continued positive approach toward actually beating this unbeatable disease. There are always options for anything we can do and I need to examine all possibilities and continue to choose as best I can.

For starters, Anne and I are leaving on Saturday for Key West and a relaxing fun time in a place we both enjoy. That always brings out a fun report for me!

Please continue to have a wonderful Holiday Season.

Happy Days are Here Again.....

....no, I am not running for office! I'm talking about the Holiday Season which is now upon us!

Even though I am not particularly religious, almost everybody would agree that this time of year in this country certainly becomes a more festive time-- what with parties and celebrations of all sorts! In this country, celebrations are largely Christian orientated because of our heritage. But there are are lots of other reasons to celebrate and I feel like we all ought to try to get into a "good mood"!

As usual, I have received some emails (and now maybe more) talking about how "they" have taken this or that away from us. For me those comments, "do not compute". I still feel as I always did that I can celebrate as I wish in this country. Isn't is wonderful? It seems to me that old people like myself need to take stock of how good we have it. We need to try harder to understand how we can help others get into a celebratory mood whatever their religion or lack thereof.

Enough of that. I have enclosed a pic from about a year ago of Anne and I celebrating and then another from the Athens Realty Holiday Party last week. I think I look a bit different!!! I also feel a lot different. Last year I was trying to figure out what to do as I would be dying soon! So...another year has gone by and I didn't die! Just not ready? Due to working hard to "beat it?" I am very grateful to all the people who have been praying for and thinking of me!! I feel much better in spite of the usual ailments and the recent (scary) fact that I have been coughing a lot.

As usual, the A-Realty party was well attended, lots of fun, and a good deal of hard work for a few people. This is the point when I always say I won't do it next year. But next year will come and we will see. In the meantime, lots of holiday get-togethers all over our sunny little town. On Saturday, Anne and I will be leaving town for 6 days in order to celebrate in a special way in a special place for us.

I can think of lots of people I would like to see and lots of places I would like to go, but for tonight I will be heading to Columbus. Tomorrow is another day to see the oncologist and get an infusion. Another blog will be coming after this visit I am certain.

Happy Holidays to all and do not forget to Celebrate!

Seriously...........

.......I don't know how much more intense I could get!

As you can tell by the expression and the picture's label, this is clearly, "serious business"!

Why? Well, as anybody reading these blogs can see, I am fighting an "incurable illness" for my life. The thing is, I think I am winning. I was diagnosed 17 months ago and have not started that slide down the slope to "worser" health! In fact, I feel pretty damn good except for lots of aches, pains, and soreness.

Cancer? Oh maybe, but more likely the result of lots of physical labor and the fact that I am 66 years old! (Now, how I got to be so old I can't figure out?) Although I try to "play a lot younger than I am." I still do lots of walking every day--usually with Roxie, the wonder dog, do a bit of yoga (badly), and have recently been taking pilates. All hard work, but all lots of enjoyment!

Early in this process, I had to quit working at real estate, but lately have been somewhat more active again. I have tried lots of things: funny movies, meditation, looking for hobbies, even gone so far as to clean up and clear out the garage--I got a good start, but that's about all. I forgot to mention lots of travel, which seems to be about the only thing I have been consistent with!

What if I hadn't shown up with a serious illness? Would I still be working full time? Would I be having fewer aches and pains? Would I be having more fun? Well, I don't know about the first questions, but I don't think I would be having "more fun". I am not only having fun and a good life these past few months, but I have been able to reflect to a wonderful degree on what a great life I have had and am having!!!!

Like I said earlier, "This is serious business," but there is no reason for me to be any more serious than I have been!

So, if you can't ski....

....take a trip to a Dream Mountain!

More on that soon, but first some old news! As some people have correctly discerned, I have had my mental ups and downs with this illness. My discovery that November was "Lung Cancer Awareness Month" didn't help! All around all I seem to hear is about the campaign to eliminate Breast Cancer--certainly something needed!!

Enough ranting and "sorry feeling". After a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with local friends and relatives, Anne and I went off to Maryland. While they had snow there, no 8 foot snowman or skiing this year--just me where snowman should be! So, in between several wonderful meals it was off to WVa with Anne's niece Loren and her boyfriend Mike. This is a game reserve owned by a friend where we chased elk and deer on 1150 Acres, we also had time for glamor shots on 4 wheelers and in front of buffalo--man they are big! Had a few beers too and just a wonderfully unexpected afternoon! A true trip to Dream Mountain!

My life has become a real interesting time split between great trips, fun with friends and relatives, lots of great meals, and--yes, of course, working on overcoming my "incurable illness".
Now I am well aware of the overwhelming support and encouragement sent my way by so many people. It has been wonderful and I know I will go on to have many more years of travels and fun---hopefully there will also be many times where I can help other people as well!

I am truly Thankful for all I have and have had.

Do not corner something....

.....that you know is meaner than you! In this case, cancer!

(the saying was sent with others from an old--and we all are now--high school classmate)

I have been trying and trying to get answers and find some sort of cure for my ailments. But, I think it is time to fall back a bit, not pursue so heatedly, just try to "roll along for a bit" and not be so damn worried all the time.

And so, I can talk about ailments without feeling angst! In honor of all my friends who qualify, I am putting in the Bday card one of my nieces gave me.

I have had a rough week, somehow my brain kept dwelling on the predicted rapid end of my life. Pretty dumb, but I guess not unusual. The neuropathy in my feet seems to be getting worse, I have a constant stuffy nose, sometimes I cough on a breath, and my right side (lung?) feels funny lots of the time. But...I feel generally good, get some exercise, take "power" walks with Roxie, meet with friends a lot, do other social activities, and even travel a whole bunch! Most people have a far worse life than I do! Life is Good! The glass is half full and can get fuller!

On Monday I am in Columbus again for Avastin which turns out to be something called a "biologic" not really a chemo. Interesting, Expensive, and I hope it is doing its thing!

One definition of mental illness is: "continuing to do the same thing in the same way and expecting a different result!" I hope to continue to keep my thinking clear and move always in ways that don't keep me down and expecting the same result!

All we really need is someone to tell us that things are going to be OK!

"What happens in Las Vegas........

.......stays in Las Vegas!" Well, not exactly, since I am going to discuss the trip to Vegas right here!

Many people ask me why as, not much of a gambler(although I did manage to lose about $100), I would want to go to Vegas? Two simple answers: the first I give quite often these days, namely that some damn doctor has said that I will be gone in 1 year--4 at the outside!!!! I am trying to prove him very wrong, but just in case I want to see all that I can. Certainly not to "spend more time in the office".

Second, I was only in Las Vegas once before and that was to spend a long weekend and get married. Now, that was fun but I was "other occupied" with lots of things.

So, I packed up a bag and head off with 3 friends who know the place. I had a great fact finding time in lots of ways:

1. Hotels are cheap.
2. Flights are cheap--and direct!
3. Shows are pretty expensive. We saw the Cirque de Soleil Beatles show and it was truly wonderful--wonderful!!
4. Sometimes people stay up all night playing cards (not me) and don't seem worse for the wear.
5. The downtown is very interesting, less expensive, and not very close.
6. "The Strip" has everything one can imagine and all these places are right next to each other, but still a long walk away!
7. Somehow I though it would be quite warm there, but it was as cold as here in Athens.
8. I thought I would "learn to gamble" but somehow that did not happen. I do have more interest and understanding, but not really much of either.
9. My new cell phone not only will do "texting"--yes, I can do it!! But will take pretty good pictures when I don't have a camera along. Even "self-portraits" if your arms are long!
10. Finally, and unfortunately very important, there is the fact evidenced these days that I have a belly for the first time! (Note the pic at the hotel where even the flamingos in the background thought I was fat)I do not like it and am into avoidance. I need to work at losing the protuberance by exercise--or at least pulling in my fat belly.

Well, enough facts for one day and I guess I still prefer Key West. For now, I need to go off to get some culture tonight at that local cultural mecca, Nelsonville, Ohio.

"You can't get to heaven on roller skates....."

Or so the old song goes, but you can come awfully close in Key West, especially at Ricky's Blue Heaven Restaurant.

Great ambiance and food, whether it is breakfast with chicks and chickens running underfoot or elegant night dining under the stars!

As usual, Key West was great, but when you come down to it, Athens, Ohio, ain't all that bad.
Last week we not only had the house-to-house trick or treat for the little ones like Leia and Batman, but also the Saturday night main street party fueled by OU college students in costume along with quite a number of "over age hippies"---and you know who you are!

Princess Leia looked great, but was far too young to be uptown at night! Then there were the Zombies that tried to get Anne to go with them. I think they liked her flowered hat!! Of course there were lots of police, many on horses, as well as Christians looking for converts and even some very wealthy people! As good time was had by all--except perhaps those who got arrested!

A trip to Key West and a good street party can certainly make one forget his troubles. And, you know, I really have a good life with no daily complaints. Of course, I wish I hadn't shown up with cancer, but it makes a person take stock and count blessings. These are tough financial times for many, many people and we need to all do things to help out not just blame and complain!

My illness has certainly made me realize that at my age it is time to get out to see things, do things, and--if I am real lucky--give some others a little joy in the process! Remember to "Do what you want to do" while you can!

....talk about Exotic Trips!

In the past three days I have been to Cleveland and then Columbus!!! I don't know how I will top that!

Actually Josh and I did have a great time in Cleveland! We went up Saturday evening and went downtown in the morning. After parking in way out in the $5 spaces, we walked until the first Irish bar and had a beer and some lunch. I do like downtown Cleveland.

I have not been to a pro football game in over 40 years, so maybe my views are in error, but everywhere we looked there was a sea of green and yellow Packer fans! I can't believe how many came on the long trip with their heavy upper midwest accents. Delightful!!

The game was a good one for Packer fans--in fact they won so easily that I wished for Browns fans that their team had a better showing. After the 3rd quarter, Browns fans were streaming out leaving only a few die hard fans and lots and lots of Packer People! (Some similarity in pics, I wonder if anyone will notice that once I put a pic on this blog, I can't get it off?)

Then on to Columbus on I71. This stretch of highway has to be one of the busiest in the country! What a pain. Up today at 6, blood draw at 7:15, coffee, then first doctor at 8--the only way to see this guy without waiting forever! Chemo at 9:30, fun doctor late in the morning--he is busy too, but somehow I don't mind the wait as much.

So, what about the CTscan? "Your scan looks the same as last time" says the doc very understatedly! And the rest of the visit was uneventful. Well, dammit, I guess I need to make my own excitement! I am not showing any Cancer--again. A great thing, I do believe.

And, do you know what? I think I felt my attitude shift today. I not only can keep this thing down, I will keep it away! I not only have some time to go, but I need to look into doing some good things with that time. As my dad always said, "time sure flies when you are having fun".
I need to do more good things as time flies by.......

Give a man enough rope......

.......and he'll hang himself! 400 feet out or up is a lot of rope!



I take a trip to far off Key West, go parasailing with one of my girlfriends.....and the pictures go online at her "myspace". Actually, I went with our good friend and neighbor, Susan, who was also kind enough to let me stay with them at their condo!

Now, if you don't know it--and who doesn't?--Key West is a pretty fun place and a great spot to forget one's troubles and have a good time. Walking. Bicycling, Sunsets, Watching all the other weird people, Paragliding, etc. I had a good time, but I did not feel so good on this trip.

My sinus continues to be plugged, my ear hurt, I was tired, and when I took a deep breath, my right lung felt funny and I coughed a lot! Of course, with my diagnosis I immediately could only think about how this must be my condition becoming worse! ...as most people would!

But, back late Thursday night, I drove back to Columbus Friday for my 3 month CTscan and I am feeling better now. On Monday, I have doctors appointments and will hear about the scan. I will take it from there and do much better--I am certain!!

In the meantime, like tomorrow, my son has procured tickets for the Packers-Browns game in Cleveland and we will be heading up there for a bonding trip to watch the Packers beat the Browns! I am not very much of a sports fan anymore and I have lived 40 years in Ohio, so I do support the Bengals and Browns--somebody should since they seem to lose most of the time! But growing up in Wisconsin as a big Packers fan seems to leave one "always a Packer fan" no matter where Brett Farve goes!

I'll leave with a quote from Leonard Cohen, "I ache in places where I used to play"

"I'm leaving on a jet plane"

Really. Although I am not going to break into song!

Tomorrow morning I am heading off to Key West with some friends. I know, I know. I am always either gone somewhere or going somewhere. But, remember I have some people (even well-known doctors) who say that I have a limited time to live!

So, what does one do? Spend more time at the office? Look for a new job? Naw! I plan on going as often as I can and having as much fun as I can! ....and why not?

Of course, I still firmly plan on surprising those "experts" and "carrying on" for a long time. The past few weeks have indeed been somewhat difficult in that I have had a sinus cold and, of course, pains in my side. Due to the dire forecasts, whenever I get a cold, sniffles, more pain in just about anyplace, etc. I frequently go off mentally thinking "the end is near". Now I have several friends and some acquaintances who frequently tell me that I should not think any negative thoughts! Boy, I'm trying, but I wish it was that easy! ...but anyhow starting tomorrow morning, I'm carrying on with my "fun and life" program.

And speaking of travel, last weekend we drove over to Oakland, Maryland, for the annual "Autumn Glory" festival. Now Oakland is a small town about 15 South of the WISP ski resort and this is definitely a "big thing". The parade was almost one and a half hours! Oakland has a beautiful 1884 RR station and is a quaint little mountain town. Our brother-in-law, Bobcat Bob was one of the grand poobahs this year. A good time was had by all. Mist all the fun, we had some alcohol that Bob had brought back from Hungary. I think one can see how well I handled it!!!!

Well, it's time to pack for Key West!

"He has multiple questions today.......

....about length of treatment and anticipated outcomes." I thought I would take some quotes right out of the oncologist's report of 9/14. Anyhow, the doctor says you have an "incurable disease" from which you won't recover. Who in the hell would not have "multiple questions"?

The oncologist doesn't send me these reports altho they are my personal record and I guess I could get them there. However, my family doctor gets a copy and I get it there. They have lots of interesting facts about me which I wanted to share today. Let's start with General Appearance: "Well-developed and well-nourished. Alert, cooperative, appears stated age" (like I might be lying about my age?).

then, "Assessment and Plan"-- "...is a pleasant 66 y.o. gentleman what a history of advanced stage NSCLC.....we discussed that maintence therapy is designed to delay progression. Unfortunately, in most patients there is eventual progression requiring a change of therapy."
I wish he had explained it just like that!

Finally, "Interestingly, that patient asks similar questions everytime we see him-he interprets my frustration with his repeated questions as defensiveness, however, I am just a little puzzled about his repeated questions (how long will I be on this, why do people stay on this, should I continue this--all of which are questions that he has asked essentially every time he comes in)."

I guess what we have here is "a failure to communicate" as they said in the movie "Cool Hand Luke." I ask similar questions because I do not get good answers. Among the things not mentioned in this report is the Dr telling me that there is no great evidence that Avistan (bevacizumab) which I receive every 3 weeks really works! He also is unwilling to give (or help me to get) any info on the few people who survive with this cancer. Stating that, "Well over 95% of my patients die within 5 years."

I did find some stats from 2002 or so that say that 90% of those with "my" cancer are gone within 5 years (Yikes, I have a year in already.) Well, I am going to be a "survivor" and I hope to somehow find out what that 10% did to keep alive!!

Enough of that depressing stuff, I am back in travel mode. We are off to Maryland today for a few days and then Key West on the 18th. I am enclosing some pics of my "Realtor education" trip to Columbus a little while ago. One can easily note two things: first, it was all hard work (...and believe it or not, the rock band was really good) and, two, I still haven't learned how to put pics where I want them on this blog! I guess I am concerned with other bigger problems in life!

"Your Daily Life is Your Temple and Your Religion." Kahlil Gibran

Sicko!

I have been "unwell" for several days now. One could easily ask, "Is this the end? Cancer got you now? Are you going to die?" Well, yeah, I am going to die, but not yet! (You can see the "sick boy" soaking up some sunshine on our front porch.)

I seem to have a sore throat, runny nose, head-ache and the run-down feeling. It occurs that maybe I have the soon-to-arrive swine flu! ...or another type of flu. Who knows? Anyhow, I am a bit better and since tomorrow is another "chemo day" in Columbus, I will be much better in the morning! This will be the first meeting with the Oncologist since he essentially told me I have no hope and then he got defensive when I again tried to figure out just what the Avastin chemo does and the success rate involved.

In the past three weeks I have often thought about just what I want to say--or ask--the doctor during this visit. I have changed my mind on that many times, all the way from saying nothing to asking a million questions including about his negative attitude. I guess I won't know what I will say until that actual moment. (And I thought this blog would allow me to brilliantly formulate all my thought and words!!!)

I have also included another pic of my son and I at the ball game last week. In spite of the fact that my friend Bruce had his glove, Josh managed to be standing where a foul ball landed and he scouped it up! I am always impressed by how much larger Josh is--especially as I seem to be shrinking! I am looking forward to going to a Green Bay Packers/Cleveland Browns game on the 25th with Josh. Speaking of baseball, I read a short article about an old fellow titled, "Do Not Go Gentle" in the Smithsonian Mag. The last line quoted the old baseball player, Sarchel Paige who asked, "How old would you be if you didn't know how old you was?"

Well, here's hoping I am feeling better tomorrow and can think of the right thing to say. I will leave with another stolen quote,
"Among those whom I like or admire,
I can find no common denominator,
but among those whom I love,
I can: all of them make me laugh"
W.H. Auden

So my Doctor says to me.......

......Wil, you should travel and have all the fun you can! Now did he tell me that because he has been my friend and family doctor for about 35 years? Or did he say that because he believes the end is near and it is time to "live it up"? Well, as my dear Aunt Evie would say, "It don't matter", it is time to live it up and have a good time. I have worked hard and need to "go and do" not to "sit and accumulate."

This week I went to the "not so exotic" Columbus (not Colombia) for the Ohio Realtor Convention and it was all hard work and education. Actually, I did have lots of fun ( it says on the menu, "It pays to play") as I missed it last year cause I was getting chemo after getting out of the hospital. Before that we had a great time at Evelyn's 4th Bday party as evidenced by the happy children and Evie and Annie in the "bouncie castle". Nothing like the young and being young at heart to make one realize how great this life is! A lot of partying can tire one out though!

What's next? Actually, except for medical trips to Columbus--one for chemo and one final check-up from my gum surgery, I have no trips planned until Maryland on October 9th. After that I am off again on the 18th. I guess when I think it over, I plan on being around a while since I have now had both my eyes and gums fixed and lots of travel planned!! If only I didn't have these damn pains in my chest! It is amazing how when an authority tells you that you are sick and about to "expire" every little pain is "Cancer Returned!" Fooey.

I am really liking this Survivor idea, I think I should continue it for a good while longer.

How many Oncologists does it take......

to send a guy into a downward spiral??? ........just one, but he has to tell you that most of his patients with metastatic lung cancer die within 2 years and 95% or more die within 5 years!

Saw the Ocologist on Monday and basically the above is what he told me!!!!! Even though my last CTscan showed no cancer, he said it will be back (and soon, if I have less than 5 years!). He was kinda defensive in answer to my questions, but did calm down a bit later on. The whole experience left me shaken and devastated! Even if he is correct, I see no reason why he had to deliver this information to me, and especially in the manor in which it was presented!

After a very rough 24 hours, I saw my Integrative Doctor Aukerman---pictured here. And boy, what a difference. He shared the results of my blood tests (mostly improving) and answered my question about why the Oncologist would tell me what he did. He told me that his patients have no expiration date!! After this appointment I went outside and did a "natural eyewash!" I felt so much better.

Luckily my good friend Bruce had lined up a ball game in Cincinnati the next day and it was so much fun. The food, drink, seats, and friendship were fantastic! Unlike my spring experience in Yankee Stadium, I would go back to a Reds game! It made me feel so much better!!

More supplements, more excercise, more positive thoughts and I will continue to be a survivor! wil

Violation!!!!

......so many people have suggested that I include pictures, that I decided to always do so. But....
I ain't got no pictures this time, sorry. I guess I can fall back on something I said many months ago. Namely, this blog is for me and even though I have no pics at this time, I need to vent!

Sometimes I feel like I am a "physical wreck." I have a plugged sinus that wakes me up at night, bad shoulder and neck pain if I lay or move wrong, the usual pain in my right side from my little operation on my lung sack a year ago, and the lack of feeling and/or pain in both feet caused by nerve problems there!

But, I am alive! In fact, I am a survivor!!! A year ago I was in "panic mode" wondering when the end would come--maybe how soon. I really could not think straight--or see straight (had an eye operation since that one). It is amazing how quickly one can drop to the depths after a cancer diagnosis.

But over a year later, while I have the above health complaints (remember, that is one of the things old people do), I am really in great shape and spirits. And looking for ways to make me even better mentally and physically!! So, what is my current condition (very well, thank you)
resulting from? 1) modern medicine (chemo), 2) integrative medicine (largely Omega 3 and no wheat), 3) lots of help from friends (and people I don't even know) in spiritual and psychic ways), or maybe my own goshdarn ornery attitude in not wanting to "check out yet"(this blog has helped a lot with that)!

I guess it is all 4 of the above and maybe something that I haven't thought of! At any rate, as a good friend told me, even though the docs say the cancer will return, I need to know that, "I am a survivor" and I will prevail in this battle--no deposit, no returns!

Off to Columbus tonight to see the oncologist early in the morning. Thanks for listening.


chandler@athens-realty.com--I forgot to add that last time.

Now......for something quite different.

At my wonderful birthday party my sister brought along some old photos that I thought I might share. Many years ago, my son's mother and I had a farm in Vinton County. Vinton Co is just west of Athens and a very rural county where the population had slipped to about 9000 for the whole county. It was my first property. We had a hill country farm--this is Appalachian Ohio, you know--of 115 acres and started with a log house and no plumbing.

I loved it! We had chickens, goats, sheep, a brood sow and a pony that did not want to be ridden! I guess that is what happens when you get a "free" pony. I learned so much about plumbing, electric, farming and construction--not to mention learning from and about my neighbors of all sorts.

The pictures include me and the baby and young child, Joshua. The important one shows Aunt Evelyn when she visited from Wisconsin to see the newborn. Evelyn looked after me in my late teenage years when my mother became ill and she had a home for me to return to after my 3 years in the army. She was like a mom to me and a grandmother to my children. In fact, Lili named my grandaughter after her. (The picture with Evie also includes the "toilet room".)

Enough nostalgia for now. I guess I should a add a new category to my "index of old people." Along with talking about the weather and their health, you might recognise "old people" also by our bringing out 30 year old pictures!! Oh well, at least I haven't--as many of my old friends have--been bitching about the "problems with young people today" and "the country today" as many old people seem to do.

We seemed to have survived Nixon, Carter, Reagan, Bushes, Clinton, etc. If we keep working at it, we will not only survive our national crises, but even have the next generation grow up to start bitching (and worrying) about the generation following them!

Of course I have lots of other things on my mind, but a blog w/o my problems is a great blog! The fall weather is here--sunny, dry, cool nights, warm days. I love it and must get out now to enjoy it.


p.s. The other day I tried to comment on a friend's blog and found it quite difficult so I thought I would once again add my email for another route.

Humble...........but scared!

But First, I did want to thank all my wonderful family for showing up for my birthday gathering in Detroit. Not only is it a place where you can have fun in the pool, but one can also "hot dog" behind the Oscar Mayer weinermobile at the Henry Ford Museum. ...and visit there with my childhood friends living in the Bucky Fuller Dymaxian prefab house of the late '40s.




Life is what happens when you are busy making plans! A year ago, I was really scared, confused, wondering what happens next and thinking of getting a will together and so forth.

Today I am much more traveled, still scared, but feeling very humble that I have had such good help and support from so many friends and relatives--including people I didn't even know. Just yesterday, a friend took me to Columbus for yet another medical procedure. This time a gum operation....painful "little" thing right now, but I await better results.

Back to the Humble part. I feel very strange that "all of a sudden" I seem not to be showing cancer. I don't really feel much different. I still have a constantly plugged sinus, bad gums (maybe not for long), a constant pain in my side from the pleurodisis(sp) operation, and very little feeling in my toes called neuropathy(again sp). But, no cancer at this time!

Friends, relatives once again step forward to congratulate me. (Did I do this?) It is really sweet to have so much support. But, I am scared. How can it be gone? This was "not cureable." The big scare is thinking too much about "is it really gone?" If so, when will it come back? I'll bet this is a pretty common reaction for people in my position. Now, enough of this thinking!

I have had such a difficult/great year, reorienting my life, ideas, and way of living. If this damn cancer shows up again, I will be able to deal with it! In the meantime, I will continue to deal with my other ailments, but mostly to live life to the fullest. I will try to help others, travel, even go back to work a bit--and have fun with all of it!!