....talk about Exotic Trips!

In the past three days I have been to Cleveland and then Columbus!!! I don't know how I will top that!

Actually Josh and I did have a great time in Cleveland! We went up Saturday evening and went downtown in the morning. After parking in way out in the $5 spaces, we walked until the first Irish bar and had a beer and some lunch. I do like downtown Cleveland.

I have not been to a pro football game in over 40 years, so maybe my views are in error, but everywhere we looked there was a sea of green and yellow Packer fans! I can't believe how many came on the long trip with their heavy upper midwest accents. Delightful!!

The game was a good one for Packer fans--in fact they won so easily that I wished for Browns fans that their team had a better showing. After the 3rd quarter, Browns fans were streaming out leaving only a few die hard fans and lots and lots of Packer People! (Some similarity in pics, I wonder if anyone will notice that once I put a pic on this blog, I can't get it off?)

Then on to Columbus on I71. This stretch of highway has to be one of the busiest in the country! What a pain. Up today at 6, blood draw at 7:15, coffee, then first doctor at 8--the only way to see this guy without waiting forever! Chemo at 9:30, fun doctor late in the morning--he is busy too, but somehow I don't mind the wait as much.

So, what about the CTscan? "Your scan looks the same as last time" says the doc very understatedly! And the rest of the visit was uneventful. Well, dammit, I guess I need to make my own excitement! I am not showing any Cancer--again. A great thing, I do believe.

And, do you know what? I think I felt my attitude shift today. I not only can keep this thing down, I will keep it away! I not only have some time to go, but I need to look into doing some good things with that time. As my dad always said, "time sure flies when you are having fun".
I need to do more good things as time flies by.......

Give a man enough rope......

.......and he'll hang himself! 400 feet out or up is a lot of rope!



I take a trip to far off Key West, go parasailing with one of my girlfriends.....and the pictures go online at her "myspace". Actually, I went with our good friend and neighbor, Susan, who was also kind enough to let me stay with them at their condo!

Now, if you don't know it--and who doesn't?--Key West is a pretty fun place and a great spot to forget one's troubles and have a good time. Walking. Bicycling, Sunsets, Watching all the other weird people, Paragliding, etc. I had a good time, but I did not feel so good on this trip.

My sinus continues to be plugged, my ear hurt, I was tired, and when I took a deep breath, my right lung felt funny and I coughed a lot! Of course, with my diagnosis I immediately could only think about how this must be my condition becoming worse! ...as most people would!

But, back late Thursday night, I drove back to Columbus Friday for my 3 month CTscan and I am feeling better now. On Monday, I have doctors appointments and will hear about the scan. I will take it from there and do much better--I am certain!!

In the meantime, like tomorrow, my son has procured tickets for the Packers-Browns game in Cleveland and we will be heading up there for a bonding trip to watch the Packers beat the Browns! I am not very much of a sports fan anymore and I have lived 40 years in Ohio, so I do support the Bengals and Browns--somebody should since they seem to lose most of the time! But growing up in Wisconsin as a big Packers fan seems to leave one "always a Packer fan" no matter where Brett Farve goes!

I'll leave with a quote from Leonard Cohen, "I ache in places where I used to play"

"I'm leaving on a jet plane"

Really. Although I am not going to break into song!

Tomorrow morning I am heading off to Key West with some friends. I know, I know. I am always either gone somewhere or going somewhere. But, remember I have some people (even well-known doctors) who say that I have a limited time to live!

So, what does one do? Spend more time at the office? Look for a new job? Naw! I plan on going as often as I can and having as much fun as I can! ....and why not?

Of course, I still firmly plan on surprising those "experts" and "carrying on" for a long time. The past few weeks have indeed been somewhat difficult in that I have had a sinus cold and, of course, pains in my side. Due to the dire forecasts, whenever I get a cold, sniffles, more pain in just about anyplace, etc. I frequently go off mentally thinking "the end is near". Now I have several friends and some acquaintances who frequently tell me that I should not think any negative thoughts! Boy, I'm trying, but I wish it was that easy! ...but anyhow starting tomorrow morning, I'm carrying on with my "fun and life" program.

And speaking of travel, last weekend we drove over to Oakland, Maryland, for the annual "Autumn Glory" festival. Now Oakland is a small town about 15 South of the WISP ski resort and this is definitely a "big thing". The parade was almost one and a half hours! Oakland has a beautiful 1884 RR station and is a quaint little mountain town. Our brother-in-law, Bobcat Bob was one of the grand poobahs this year. A good time was had by all. Mist all the fun, we had some alcohol that Bob had brought back from Hungary. I think one can see how well I handled it!!!!

Well, it's time to pack for Key West!

"He has multiple questions today.......

....about length of treatment and anticipated outcomes." I thought I would take some quotes right out of the oncologist's report of 9/14. Anyhow, the doctor says you have an "incurable disease" from which you won't recover. Who in the hell would not have "multiple questions"?

The oncologist doesn't send me these reports altho they are my personal record and I guess I could get them there. However, my family doctor gets a copy and I get it there. They have lots of interesting facts about me which I wanted to share today. Let's start with General Appearance: "Well-developed and well-nourished. Alert, cooperative, appears stated age" (like I might be lying about my age?).

then, "Assessment and Plan"-- "...is a pleasant 66 y.o. gentleman what a history of advanced stage NSCLC.....we discussed that maintence therapy is designed to delay progression. Unfortunately, in most patients there is eventual progression requiring a change of therapy."
I wish he had explained it just like that!

Finally, "Interestingly, that patient asks similar questions everytime we see him-he interprets my frustration with his repeated questions as defensiveness, however, I am just a little puzzled about his repeated questions (how long will I be on this, why do people stay on this, should I continue this--all of which are questions that he has asked essentially every time he comes in)."

I guess what we have here is "a failure to communicate" as they said in the movie "Cool Hand Luke." I ask similar questions because I do not get good answers. Among the things not mentioned in this report is the Dr telling me that there is no great evidence that Avistan (bevacizumab) which I receive every 3 weeks really works! He also is unwilling to give (or help me to get) any info on the few people who survive with this cancer. Stating that, "Well over 95% of my patients die within 5 years."

I did find some stats from 2002 or so that say that 90% of those with "my" cancer are gone within 5 years (Yikes, I have a year in already.) Well, I am going to be a "survivor" and I hope to somehow find out what that 10% did to keep alive!!

Enough of that depressing stuff, I am back in travel mode. We are off to Maryland today for a few days and then Key West on the 18th. I am enclosing some pics of my "Realtor education" trip to Columbus a little while ago. One can easily note two things: first, it was all hard work (...and believe it or not, the rock band was really good) and, two, I still haven't learned how to put pics where I want them on this blog! I guess I am concerned with other bigger problems in life!

"Your Daily Life is Your Temple and Your Religion." Kahlil Gibran

Sicko!

I have been "unwell" for several days now. One could easily ask, "Is this the end? Cancer got you now? Are you going to die?" Well, yeah, I am going to die, but not yet! (You can see the "sick boy" soaking up some sunshine on our front porch.)

I seem to have a sore throat, runny nose, head-ache and the run-down feeling. It occurs that maybe I have the soon-to-arrive swine flu! ...or another type of flu. Who knows? Anyhow, I am a bit better and since tomorrow is another "chemo day" in Columbus, I will be much better in the morning! This will be the first meeting with the Oncologist since he essentially told me I have no hope and then he got defensive when I again tried to figure out just what the Avastin chemo does and the success rate involved.

In the past three weeks I have often thought about just what I want to say--or ask--the doctor during this visit. I have changed my mind on that many times, all the way from saying nothing to asking a million questions including about his negative attitude. I guess I won't know what I will say until that actual moment. (And I thought this blog would allow me to brilliantly formulate all my thought and words!!!)

I have also included another pic of my son and I at the ball game last week. In spite of the fact that my friend Bruce had his glove, Josh managed to be standing where a foul ball landed and he scouped it up! I am always impressed by how much larger Josh is--especially as I seem to be shrinking! I am looking forward to going to a Green Bay Packers/Cleveland Browns game on the 25th with Josh. Speaking of baseball, I read a short article about an old fellow titled, "Do Not Go Gentle" in the Smithsonian Mag. The last line quoted the old baseball player, Sarchel Paige who asked, "How old would you be if you didn't know how old you was?"

Well, here's hoping I am feeling better tomorrow and can think of the right thing to say. I will leave with another stolen quote,
"Among those whom I like or admire,
I can find no common denominator,
but among those whom I love,
I can: all of them make me laugh"
W.H. Auden